"I Danss Cuz I Happy" (I Love Lolcats) BABY UPDATE

Very quick update, because I'm particularly exhausted today: had an appointment this morning because the cramping and bleeding increased last night and turned the bright red of new blood.

Very fortunately, it's not the baby that's the issue...this one is all Momma. My cervix looks "like hamburger meat." The doc said it happens in some pregnancies--that for whatever reason, hormones, whatever,  the cervix gets really raw. So, it won't affect the baby really in any way. I'll likely experience some discomfort and bleeding throughout the pregnancy, though he said the issue may resolve sooner. So, all ya'lls' prayers and good vibes went with us this morning!! Thank you so much!!

Didn't Stop...

So, I left off my last post basically saying the bleeding was over, since that's what the doctor told me. He said there was no blood left inside, and he didn't think I'd see anymore at all.

I woke up Sunday morning bleeding out clots and enough blood to soak through my underwear and down my legs. Steven and I Dopplered the heartbeat, and found it trucking along like normal. I called the on call physician back, still concerned. "Honestly," he told me, "I have no idea why you're bleeding. It should have stopped, not increased. But, we know you aren't dilating prematurely, because I saw you yesterday and checked. You've done at home all we could do here--found the heartbeat and seen the blood. So, my recommendation to you is to take it easy, and call your OB first thing in the morning. I have a feeling he'll want to see you."

And, that was that. I've bled and had some cramping and just been generally uncomfortable for the past couple of days. I called first thing, as he recommended, and I have an appointment this afternoon to see what the problem is. If ya'll could be praying for us, sending all good thoughts and positive vibes this way that you can muster, we'd certainly appreciate it.

Back To Bed I Go

Sooo....got up this morning and decided to have lunch with Steven at work. I called and verified what time he was going, and then loaded up and headed that way. I peed(for the sixth time this morning!) before I left, but, as per my usual, was desperate to pee again by the time I reached his work.

I did my business, but, when I wiped, I noticed a brown smear on the toilet paper. Surprised, I did a double take. And then a third. Wiped again. More blood. Again, more blood. Uneasy, I cleaned myself up and called my ever-present mother.

"Mom, I'm bleeding...it's not a lot, and it didn't hurt, but do you think I should call the doc?" She assured me that it was probably nothing, but to call anyway...I did, before I realized it was Saturday. The only way to reach a doctor was to page the on-call physician. I called Mom back. "It says for emergencies," I told her. "I'm not sure this qualifies...I mean, no pain, old looking blood...what do you think?"

"Well, it can't hurt to double check. Probably page the physician." So, I called the nurse's line again, was told to rest and be still until I heard back from the doctor, and that he would call in the next few minutes."

Fifteen minutes later, we were on our way to the hospital, to the pregnant woman portion of a triage. I was checked over thoroughly(super unpleasant...don't know how I'm going to get that baby out of there...). There were signs that I had been bleeding, but the doctor said the inside looked good, there weren't any active bleeds that he could tell, the baby's heart was still thumping along at it's usual pace of about 140, my cervix was still closed and plugged and "high and tight". He said that, for right now, he wouldn't worry overmuch about it. The typed and screened my blood, said there shouldn't be any problems with the Rh factor, and to continue with a routine visit to my regular OB. So. That all looked pretty good.

Then, when I finally arrived home, I opened the door to find that my Great Dane had escaped his room and torn trash from one end of the house to another. When he heard my gasp of dismay, he beat feet. I spent a measly few moments staring at the...the carnage...( I don't think there's another word...we've had a fair bit of meat recently, and the fatty trimmings had been in the trash, along with the typical banana peels and peach pits) before I set out to find my dog. I searched high and low--in the bed rooms, the office, under the beds, in the closets...but, seriously, how do you lose a Great Dane??


((NOTE:: Not my dog, not my tub.))

Finally found him in the shower, carefully hidden away behind the curtain, with only a ruffled edge to give him away. I coaxed. I pleaded. I yelled. I pointed. He would NOT leave the shower. I've never hit this dog, but he was abused in the past, before we rescued him, and he fears our anger somewhere around the level of thunderstorms and the apocalypse. Finally, I gave up on that, and hid outside the bathroom, behind the door. When he finally emerged, I shut the door behind him and escorted him, lecturing all the way, outside.

Then, Mom called again...she needed me to meet her near the house. I agreed, and got back in the car--and wouldn't you know it? The oil light came on, red and angry.

So. Now, I've given Mom what she needed, cleaned up the trash and am finally back again in comfy pajamas--clothes I intend to make good use of--along with my bed and good book. I don't plan to come back out until Steven gets home.

House-Wife-ing 101

So. My entire living with Stephen life, I have not been any kind of house-wife. I worked, usually two jobs, and, by the time I arrived home, the last thing I wanted to do was work. He mostly felt the same. Our house wasn't filthy, or grimy, but it was cluttered, and there was always at least  a few dishes in the sink and a few loads of laundry we'd yet to even start. Dog hair was on every article of clothing we owned, and doggy nose art decorated the windows. A stray paw-print often found its way onto our sheets, and the closest I came to being domestic was to light a few candles and be sure the counters stayed swiped clean.

Since the loss of my job, I've felt it was really important for me to contribute in other ways. Namely, if he's going to support us and the house we've come to love, then the least I could do was keep up with the house-work. Easy-peasy, right? After all, I've watched my mother do this for years. How bad could it be?

Yeah, right.

What I've learned is that I've learned nothing about keeping house in the 23 years I've been alive. The dishes and the laundry seem a constant uphill battle; why does anyone ever cook, when they've just washed all those pans? And, how did that splatter of macaroni and cheese get on the stove I just wiped? And paw-prints shouldn't be on sheets, and these clothes just came out of the dryer, how are they already covered in white and black and fawn and grey hair? And, the trash! It piles up in two or three days! (Usually Stephen has dealt with the trash, so that was kind of a shock.) I read a book once, and, in it, a woman bemoans that, according to her mother's rules, she's "failed, because the kitchen floor is dirty." I know exactly how she feels! Every day, when Stephen leaves for work, I make a list of things/projects I need to accomplish before he returns: Take Grammy to the library, sweep the floors, start a load of a laundry, dishes, Dad's physical therapy appointment, those library books are due back at the end of the week, and have the bills been organized and paid? Our calender is still on Janurary...and I've felt so overwhelmed. When my husband gets home at night, sometimes I just want to cry, because my list is still a mile long. We've not even hardly discussed a nursery, I can't even keep up with the rest of the house...how am I going to do this all once school is back in and I have a baby?? How do you ladies do it?? I know ya'll have tips, I've read your blogs! It looks like you all juggle everything so well, and I'm desperate to know how you manage it!

Tips, tricks, anything, please!

Already Infrequent Posts...

Are probably about to get even more infrequent. I was forced to resign this morning from work. They left me zero options, telling me that my "restrictions really leave us no options to make available to you." This cuts our income in half. And, with the condition of my pregnancy, anyway, it's highly unlikely that I'll find another job that will work with school hours, restrictions, and frequent flare-ups that require me to miss work.

That being said, we're trying to bottom-line. We'll be cutting our internet, our gym memberships--anything we can afford to lose, will be gone. It's been a tough decision and an emotionally draining, harrowing experience.

In addition, my step-grandfather passed away quite suddenly. All in all, it's been a tough few weeks.

Still, we're trying to be positive. We had an ultrasound that looked great today--the first where the baby looked like a baby! I had a slight weight gain--which the doctor was thrilled with, considering my morning(yeah, right...afternoon and night sickness, too!) sickness. All of our tests came back great; I get one more check, his has over-time and holiday pay on it. We had a fabulous forth of July(hope ya'll did, too!). Our dogs are doing wonderful--not one fight since the neutering!

Plus, I'm leaning pretty heavily on a WONDERFUL song(if you guys haven't heard it, go check it out...). It's called "Oceans(Where Feet May Fail)". So, all that to say--I'm sorry this is so disjointed. I'm feeling a little adrift. Any good thoughts, prayers, etc. will be much, much appreciated!! :)



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QR2KGmL50k   <---Link to that song! :) :) :)

What Would I Do Without My Mother...

  So, another pretty quick update, because I'm not allowed to sit up for very long. Really, I'm only allowed to sit up to eat, or other such short endeavors.

  I, as some of you may know, have three "dads". My biological, my first step-dad(who raised me), and my current step-dad. And, I know it's a little late, but, for Father's Day, Stephen and I are going to do a Father's Day cookout at our house. To help me prepare, my saint of a mother came over Wednesday night to help me clean. All day that day, I'd worked on the house, but slowly...there was a slight catch in my back every time I straightened or moved too quickly.

By the next morning, I could barely walk, couldn't get myself dressed, or on or off the toilet by myself. Everything, even rolling over in bed, was excruciating. By 6:45 in the morning, I caved and called my mom again, asking her what to do. In typical, my mother fashion--she was at my house with ice packs within thirty minutes, and she'd already started making calls to the various chiropractors in the area. She was convinced my "back was out." And, in a manner of speaking, it is.



Really, though, in what my doctor says is a common situation for pregnant women, my expanding pelvis is weakening and is pressing on my sciatic nerve and my back also refuses to stay anywhere near in alignment. He insisted that I not work, at least for this week, and go down to 8 or 10 hour days when I return to work. As it stands, I'm not able to sit for long, stand for long, lay on my back for an extended period of time, I have to ice it regularly, and, though I'm much improved, I still have to go back every two days or so for the next week and have help getting around. My mother has been a god-send, while Stephen works long 12 hour days. She has helped me dress, fed me, helped me clean my house, played chauffeur, as I can't drive, and just in general been an absolute miracle. Even now, she and my step-dad are outside, mowing our grass.



Really, I don't know what we'd do without them! But, it's about time for another ice pack, so I'll update again later...hopefully with "hey, as I start the second trimester, all the difficulties of pregnancy have mysteriously vanished!" :P

I hope you all are doing well, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate your comments. :)

Quick Update

So...it's been a bit since our, rather shocking, discovery of my pregnancy. And, boy, it's been an eventful ride so far! Four days after my last post, I went in for an ultrasound. Since I was unaware that it was a transvaginal ultrasound, myself, Steven, his mother, and my mother were all present.

I'll leave out most of that humiliating event--except to say, when they started looking, the tech found: nothing. Not a sac, not a baby, nothing. Panicked, I asked, "Well, but, I'm pregnant, right? I mean, I had the blood tests and everything!" To which she replied, "Not by looking at this ultrasound, you're not."

So, they rescheduled for two weeks out, just to see if anything was progressing, or if I'd already lost our little miracle. Then, that weekend, I started bleeding. I went in Monday, a week early, to see what was going on.

This time, there was a little sac, clinging on for dear life. And, an active uterine bleed. Again, we were warned this might not progress, but were told to come back the next Monday, as scheduled, to reevaluate.

The next Monday--there was a little, tiny baby! With a little tiny heartbeat! And only a little bit of extra fluid. Things were definitely looking up.

That was the week I started getting sick. And, I do mean, *sick*. I'm currently down 11 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. My dad says all I do is "rent meals." Steven's so used to my constant existence in the bathroom, he walked in on me, throwing up, to ask what I wanted for dinner. And, of course--to sleep. I've done rather a lot of that, too.


Fast forward two weeks: not this past Monday, but the one before, we went back for another ultrasound. The baby had grown. It wiggled, it had little arms and little legs, and an even faster, stronger heartbeat than before. All of the extra fluid was gone, and the uterine bleed had resolved. The doctor says my chances of losing the baby at this point are next to non-existent.

However, as evidenced by the shortness of this post--I still don't feel like much of anything worthwhile. Hopefully, all the first trimester symptoms will have eased in the next couple of weeks. Looking very forward to it!!

Anywho, sorry for the length of time between posts, and for the brevity of the posts I do make. Once I'm a person again, I'm sure I'll be more...normal, lol.

And, thank you ALL SO MUCH for the sweet comments on our little miracle. :) We have been so thankful for all the prayers and well-wishes--clearly, we've needed them!

:)