Police and Pet Peeves

Ok, so I thought his use of alliteration was clever, so I went ahead and stuck with it for this next post. :)

First and foremost, completely unrelated to DD: I got pulled over today. Even though this cop had me on a seatbelt violation, speeding, an illegal U-Turn(which was really a left-hand turn…just saying), texting, and expired tags…I still didn’t get a ticket. THAT is skill. 

In my defense, I didn’t know it was illegal to turn there. Apparently, there used to be a sign, but some skateboarders took it down. And, as to the speeding, texting, and seatbelt—I have to guess he just didn’t see them, because he didn’t comment.

And the tags? I had those in my car…in the glove box. I’d just never stuck them on the license plate. So. Talk about a close call there! I could have wound up using my whole blessed pay check in tickets, if he’d tried—and instead, he put the tags on my car for me!

…I think it helped that he thought I was nuts. See, I’m an interpreting major. And…I have a project due, a story I have to sign tonight at five. I hadn’t actually started, so I figured why waste time? So, while he was running my tags, I was practicing this story. He came up and saw me waving my hands around and talking to myself…well…who knows what the poor man thought…

And, now, onward to the Pet Peeves portion of this post!! Eye contact. If I’m having a conversation with you, I don’t think it’s such a stretch for you to look me in the eye.

Or, you know, at least glance up every now and then and PRETEND to have some kind of interest in what I have to say. I know that Connect-the-dots on the smart phone is a fun game, but…hey, the real world doesn’t live in that damn phone.

I have lost count of the number of times that I’ve informed Steven how much I hate that. He can have a full-length conversation with me. He can provide input. Insight. Clever, witty remarks.

And never once look at you. Why?

The phone. A text. A game. The computer. The television. (Even when the dumb thing is on mute. UGH! )

I swear. It makes me want to break every electronic device in the house. How hard is a freakin’ glance??? 

GRR!

Loopholes and Lemon Bars

So as any/all of you know.. this is supposedly a shared blog.

We'll just say I'm working on that bit. I truly do intend to blog, but I tend to be a bit of a procrastinator.
 Unless, as I'm sure Grace would assure you, it comes to trouble.

Considering the blog is already 6 posts in.. I'm going to skip all the formalities of introductions and so forth and pick up right on subject.

I'm sure you noticed the title of this blog being "loopholes..." the "...lemon bars" we'll get to in a bit. Grace seems to think it a personal challenge to find these mysterious loopholes that I've somehow forgotten to mention under the assumption that they will be actually acceptable behaviors.

I can't help but think this is what actually goes through her head as what's going to occur:


But... it's not what does. What usually happens is just what we would all expect.. trouble.

Just because I don't SAY it, doesn't mean it's not included... I know everyone practicing DD has ran into THAT issue before. But, for some reason, Grace has decided to take it upon herself to ONE DAY find a successful loophole.

Maybe she needs a lawyer, they're good at that kind of thing.


Really, I was hopeful the other day... she made it a whole 36 hours without any form of trouble. It was her best streak yet. Lately, however, I think she's decided to make up for that lost time...

Not just loopholes, either.

The subject of maintenance spankings was recently brought up, I haven't actually decided on it yet, but we may give it a shot eventually.

For now, this is all I've got for you. See you next time,

Steven

Still...Well, A Whole List of Things

For all that my last post was all happy-go-lucky-look-how-wonderful-life-out-of-trouble-is…today, life sucks. I’ve managed to be spanked three times in a night and part of a day. I’m grounded for a week from blogs--AGAIN, and I’m generally displeased about it.

You know the irony? Last night, I was feeling alright about the whole being spanked thing. I pitched the fit from Hell first—let me just tell you.....Steven, bless his heart…

I stole the spoon. (In case ya missed this, I HATE that thing.)

I tried to avoid a spanking—(i.e., just said flat-out no).

I was disrespectful, I was angry. I was awful. 

During my avoidance time, I got on the LDD network and chatted with a few people. They REALLY helped me out. They reminded me that we were on the same side, that if I would go to him, he could help me get past the mad, and we could salvage the night. So, I decided they were right. When I went back to him, I was willing and contrite. I very rarely actively cry during Trouble. But, this time…I bawled. But, I took what was coming and was clingy and affectionate after. He was great, very sweet, very loving, very willing to listen, and cuddle.

BUT.

I still felt guilty. So, this morning rolls around. I slipped up on a rule. I got spanked again. Again, I was honestly feeling finished. You know---this time guilt-free. A generally peaceful, easy mood.

And then—he made the comment.

It was a little thing, nothing huge. But it totally rubbed me the wrong way. I went from finished to furious in the blink of an eye. Attitude reared her defiant head. I was snappy. I told him to get off, I didn’t want to be touched, I wanted to be left alone.

(Because that's EVER appropriate...or any kind of a good idea.) 

So on and so forth. I gave new meaning to that “5^th D” that everyone talks about. All in all, WAY out of line. So, what happened? Oh…you guessed it? Really? Huh. And here I thought it was a shocker...but I got spanked, AGAIN. By this point, my goodness, too sore to even *rub*. 

Now, I’m still angry, still don’t want to be fooled with, still grounded, still sore…

And still on very thin ice. 

UGH.

Boingy, Boingy, FISH ATTACK!

Yay for surviving a day without being in trouble!!

Last night was awesome in general, and, let me tell you, it was made doubly so by the fact I managed to behave myself all day and stay firmly OUT of trouble. So, instead of Trouble—

I danced(hobbled) around the kitchen with my cat and a stuffed fish toy on a string, singing atrociously made up lyrics(as evidenced by the title), while Steven looked on and poked fun. (Deserved, I assure you.)

We watched a movie which he thought was tolerable, and I thought was utterly terrifying. Because, yeah, I’m the wuss of the century when it comes to all things even hinting at scary. (Practical Magic was the movie, should anyone be interested).

We cuddled with our puppy, who snores so atrociously that my mom insists that he needs a C-Pap.

We ate a lovely little dinner, complete with cookie dough, yum. (Who wants to bother with baking it when you can the dough plain? ;) )

In short, we spent the night reconnecting, hanging out, and generally having fun.

J Love him. 

"I'll Be Good for the Rest of My Life!"..Take Two..

  Yeah, so that few days thing? Didn’t quite work out…Sometimes, I go into this little “spiral”—and all consequences to…well, pretty much anything…fly right out of my head. I was definitely heading that way over the last week. Everything just seems worth it, for some reason. I know that I’m acting poorly. And, yet, that trouble line? I don’t want to cross it…I just want to touch it. See how far I can push. (I really need to get over that. It never ends well for me. And I always feel so guilty later. Definitely, not worth it.)

Anyway, SOMEONE just HAPPENED to notice.

Maybe it was that I found a loophole to reading those blogs (“I only read the COMMENTS. That’s just not the same thing at ALL!”)

Maybe it was that I hit play on our Sign Language homework DVD while he was trying to talk to me about something I didn’t want to hear.

Maybe it was drinking alcohol without permission(HUGE no-no; just in case…cue hardcore, obsessively addictive personality from last post!)

Maybe it was the snippy tone

Or the impatience

Or the “Attitude” (I swear, when he says Attitude, it ALWAYS comes with a capital A.)

Hmm. Wonder which one tipped him off.

Either way, he was tipped off. And I was dead. And I knew it. So, I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and disappeared off to bed before be finished whatever he was doing online. I didn’t even take our puppy to bed!

(Yes, he's ours--Cute, huh? :) )

That didn’t quite cut it. He just finished up, came into bedroom and told me he knew I was up. I may have been just a TAD stubborn about the whole situation. I may have ‘accidentally’ put my back to him. I may have closed my eyes and tried to ignore him.

And, I may have gotten spanked for it. (Can I just say again how much I loathe the spoon?) The good news?

Spiral FSH. No desire to even look at the trouble line. None. Perfect angel, me! 

And, of course, the cuddle after. I’m a complete attention hog, anyway, but after a spanking, he’d just better expect me to live in his lap. Which he does. So well. J Maybe, angel, him!

The bad news? I tore a tendon in my foot the other day, and now…well, let’s just say I prefer being on my stomach to being on my tail. I tried to tell him that—that this was a sad state of affairs, and he should feel sympathy and regret.

He didn't. But, he did cuddle more. Which is a tolerable alternative.... ;)

Gotta love that man.  

The Devil Carries A Wooden Spoon

So, maybe I mentioned I have a slight addiction. Actually, what I really have is a hardcore, ridiculous, obsessively addictive personality. Whatever I’m into at the moment, I’m *into*. If I love cream cheese icing—I’ve probably got six cans of it in the fridge. When ‘Bones’ pops up with a new season on Netflix—count me out of reality for a good two days.

Even with work—when I go on a good streak, I may work seventy hours plus school. I just get really focused on whatever it is that I’m doing.

The problem? Well, my HOH just doesn’t like addictions. Of any kind. For any reason. And, more importantly, when he takes something(like blogs, for, *ahem*, a hypothetical example?) away as punishment for something else, he REALLY dislikes the addiction that leads me to sneak and read them anyway.

Not sure why I bother to sneak, since I always confess…but, beside the point.

The point is I was feeling a little, well, stubborn. So, I read the blog.

And, I got spanked.

And, it sucked. But, if anyone has heard of those silent spankings? You know, that awful, dreadful, should be BANNED cream? Yeah, the idea was if that goes *first*, I’ll really get the picture. Since this is oh…the sixth or seventh time we’ve had this particular “discussion”...

The only thing? That cream turns on the heat—and off the sting. So, stubborn ol’ me, basically, faked him out. And, since we’re still new to this, and it was late, he didn’t notice right off. Till the next morning. Till today.

Then, he noticed.

“Babe? Were you not done? Because you don’t feel done to me..”

Why does he always ask that? I was DONE before I got the first swat! UGH!

“Of course I’m done.” Cue innocent smile, averted gaze, and angel halo here.

“I don’t think you are.”

“I think you’re crazy. I’m definitely done.” Liar, me.

So, out came the King of Sting. And, let me just tell you, I’m done now. OUCH! I hate the wooden spoon. I hate it. And I hate worse that I deserved it. How hard is it to go ten days without reading some blogs, after all? (....) 

I promised I’d be good for the rest of my whole life.

I think I’ll shoot for a few days. 

:) 

That Little Messenger

You know, for loving writing and such as much as I do, I’m finding this whole starting-a-blog-thing ridiculously hard. Now, I’ve spent ages and ages reading everyone ELSE’S blogs…and thinking to myself, “Ooh, that was a clever way to say that…” or “Ouch..I KNOW that was unpleasant…” or, more commonly, “Been there, done that, got that t-shirt…and, if I haven’t, bet ya I will.” For that matter, I’ve even been spanked for my addiction to reading blogs. He...well, he's just not crazy about addictions. Go figure. So, I got spanked for it.

Sort of anyway.

Really, I guess it’s more of a…

“I only read just a little bit! One tiny entry!”

“Of the blog I told you not to read?”

“…”

“Ok, then.”

“No, this is not an ‘ok, then’ moment! It was so short! I doubt it even counts.” 

….Because, yeah, that line EVER works. Eh, worth a try, though, I guess.

To be fair, I haven’t been in this lifestyle terribly long. I mean, I knew that we had a very…uhm, rule-based? Relationship? I guess? It was complicated, whatever it was…and then I started stumbling on blogs about rules and consequences and, I felt connected, the same. Right up until I hit the parts about spanking. Then, I was both hooked and totally freaked out. The idea appealed to me for a lot of reasons:

Atonement.

Anger and resentment gone.

No guilty feelings.

No cold silences and snippy tones(ok, so I was ALWAYS the worst about tones, but, that, I’m sure, is beside the point).

At the same time though….I couldn’t let him just…*spank* me. That’s crazy! Right?

One night, we were just hanging out, and I got quiet, thinking about it. We’d had some sort of little tiff the day before and I was still stewing slightly about it, and longing for the peace that everyone else’s blogs swore by. He asked me about it, and after a couple of hours of literally dragging it out of me—I admitted to my curiosity about the lifestyle. To my shock—and horror—he agreed with it! Just like that! He was just fine with giving it a shot!

I was dumbfounded! And, in typical me style, immediately started pulling up blogs that I’d yank the phone away from him when he even tried to read for himself.

That was…I don’t know…maybe six months ago? Something like that?

Now, things are a little different. Still not perfect, because God knows I’m sure not. But we’re getting through it. We’re learning a lot. That’s good…even if the way I learn best is a little messenger.

He runs straight from backside to brain. And, sometimes, it takes a little while.

I’m only a little bit stubborn, after all.

But, we’ll figure this out—if only by grace alone.  :)