I Think I See Sunlight!!

Nope! I've not been grounded!...

Nor have I died..

Or even fallen right off the face of the Earth...

I was in a hole. A hole of work and work and house keeping and trying to find a new job and classes to take and money to pay for it all and family issues. 

A hole that my cousin dug a few feet deeper with her problems that I, despite Steven's best advice, just can't seem to steer clear of.

...Let me tell you guys...that's a long story, but the quick gist? T has lived with me off and on for most of our lives. She's more sister than cousin, but her propensities lead her to the biggest possible trouble around. Always. And, me? Even though I know I can't always fix her, I always feel quite obligated to try. Well, she wanted something to "love her unconditionally". I suggested a fish. (The last time she got a dog...well, it didn't go so well. In fact, the Humane Society was called. Yet another long story). Instead, she got pregnant. The daddy has bailed, and she doesn't have money for gas to get to work, much less to buy things for baby. 

Now, don't know how many of you know--but my dream has always been kids. Lots and lots of them. So, that to say, I love children. I know T's mom, who she lives with again, has a serious history of neglect and drug abuse. As much as I love her, I don't feel T has the capacity right now to have a child. In fact, she wants to start school in August, have a C-section over the Thanksgiving holiday, and be back to school by the end of the break. I agreed to watch the baby at least one day a week. Steven says one day only. But, T doesn't have anything for the baby, so we cut a deal: I could buy anything I wanted for C(the baby, it's a boy), IF it doesn't leave my house. 

So, that whole situation has been occupying my time and thoughts. 

Things have been going great with J, so I've been with him a fair bit....

Until Grams started having a worse time with her Alzheimer's. Mom just can't do it herself, so we keep Grammy some, also. And, between that and work(like 70+ hours sometimes), I just haven't had time or energy to blog. 

But, Steven got tired of spanking me for attitude and freak outs(for some reason that I'm not going to try to work with here, maintenance and spanking for stress always chills me right out), so he put a limit on how many hours I could work, and regulates how often we have what family member.

So...I think...I THINK...that I see sunlight! 

And, boy, does it feel good. :)