Ok, guys. I'm just gonna be honest here. This is going to probably be my last post for a good little while. I'm hurting and confused and just not at all feeling inspired to write.
He cheated. Has been, the whole time we've been together. It's all been online, nothing in person. Just websites and role play and pretend, fantasy sex with other women. But, I've been ignorant of it the whole time. I feel very much like I've been caught with my pants down. And, even though he may not have ever touched another woman, that emotional and mental connection was there.
I'm not going to go into how I found out, or the long hours of tears and panic and that final, horrible confrontation.
The sinking feeling in my gut when I called and he asked what all I had seen.
We've decided to try and work it out; I don't feel strong enough for it, but I'd never forgive myself if I didn't try. I've invested too much to just walk out.
Needless to say, however, DD is out of the picture for the moment. Without that level of trust..I just don't feel it's appropriate. But, I think this can be dealt with. And, I think, if our relationship does survive this particular bitch of a storm, we'll go back to DD at some point.
Maybe that's when I'll write again.
But, for now, goodbye. It's been a pleasure hearing your comments and support and sympathy and even chastisement of sorts for some of my more outlandish stunts. Thank you all. I've so enjoyed your friendship.
--Grace
I've not commented much, but I am so very sorry. I think it is good for you to try to work this out as you say...you'll never know. I don't know if you have a faith life, but I pray God will give you strengh, peace, and help heal your heart. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteOh Grace - I've been a lurker on your site for some time. My heart bleeds for you - I have been where you are and it is very painful. I'm with SNP, praying that God gives you peace, strength and help in healing your heart and soul.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Cat
Oh Grace I am so sorry. Some men just don’t get it do they? They don’t realize that emotional cheating is as bad if not worse than physical cheating. You give him the greatest gift you have to offer, your submission, and he throws it away on some computer chickadee or chickadees. If you decide he is trustworthy and it is your desire to salvage the relationship, I am sending hugs and prayers your way.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget we are always hear if you want to vent, scream or carry on. We are a good sounding board and only want the best for our "sisters".
Grace,
ReplyDeleteMost of us out here have been through some real hard stuff. Like sunnygirl said, we are all here so come by and pour your heart out whenever you need to.
I'm glad you two are going to try to work this out and it will be really hard work. Addiction issues are tough stuff.
We're here.
Grace, my heart goes out to you. I hope you're able to work it out. I'll be praying for peace and strength for you as you go through this difficult time.
ReplyDeleteGrace, I'm so sorry. I have been in that position three times before Ward, and it is never easy. You're in Ward's and my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteGrace, I'm so sorry!! Hang in there!! I'm proud of you for being strong enough to try to work it out. We are here and pulling for you...
ReplyDeleteOh I'm so sorry. It's such a painful time to try to get through. Wishing you much luck in giving it that other go and like others have said, we'll be here to listen and support should you write again. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteDee x
Grace, I'm posting late, I just want you to know that I've been praying for you. I too have gone through some betrayal pain in my marriage. Unfortunately men do not see it as hurtful, until they have to see the destruction and hurt it causes. I've had to eat words like "I would never..." I didn't respect women who stayed. I didn't respect myself for staying. I shared my struggles with my closest friends. I was married 20 years at the time. I didn't want to give up my marriage, and he didn't either. We went to marriage counseling. It helped, but it was still very hard. I do want you to know that staying together was still so worth it. You have to decide if you are better with him or without him. You will look at every word, ever action, every look he has for a long time. He needs to know that he has to make everything clear. He has to answer questions frequently. He needs to be totally ok with the fact that you do not trust him, and he must be totally open to you knowing EVERYTHING. He must understand how much it hurts you. Then it will work, and you both will be more committed than ever. I'm so sorry that you have to go through it. Temptation is so very great these days. We are all constantly tempted to do things we shouldn't. It's a constant battle. I will pray that he will turn away from those things, and turn to God for strength, and to you for your love. God Bless You Both, Belle L.
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